


This Is A Religion?

by Elder_Schraderham



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Gen, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 01:48:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4545504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elder_Schraderham/pseuds/Elder_Schraderham
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doing their normal door to door conversions, Elder's Price and Cunningham get introduced to a new religion which somehow ruins their day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is A Religion?

            Elder Price readjusted his tie for the hundredth time. He felt the need to look sharp and professional with each house they went to. They were trying to convert the good citizens of Provo and spread the word of God, not looking sloppy and careless teenagers. Teenagers they were, but professional teenagers at that. Elder Price dug his Book of Mormon out of his pocket and held it tightly. He then looked over at his missionary companion and sighed.

            Elder Cunningham was an interesting character. Curly haired, big rimmed glasses, chubby looking fellow he was. Nerdy, but has a kind and caring heart… to anything but the Book of Mormon. He hadn’t even read the bible and he was going door to door trying to convert people.

            “Elder Cunningham, please, fix your tie. It’s going lopsided,” Elder Price pointed out to Elder Cunningham as they went door to door.

            “Oh please,” he scoffed with an eye roll, “It looks fine.”

            “Maybe fine for your standards,” Price noted, “But please, we’re representing the Church of Latter Day Saints.”

            He sighed loudly, “I don’t even want to  _do_  this Elder.”

            “Well, this is our last strip of houses,” he pointed down the street, “Three more then we’re done.”

            “Good. There’s a  _Star Wars_  marathon on tonight and I don’t wanna miss it.”

            “Do you have a job or anything, Elder?” Price asked, curious.

            “Nope,” he answered honestly, “You do, right?”

            Kevin nodded with a slight eye roll, “Yes. I work two jobs,” he rolled his eyes for real this time.

            “Do you have a social life?”

            “Not really,” he said honestly, “I devote my life to the church,” he tightened his grip on the Book of Mormon, “Teach the kids there every other night and all day Saturday and Sunday.”

            The two walked up the drive way. Price turned to his companion, “But that’s beside the point. We have a job to do, Elder.”

            Cunningham groaned and followed Price up the steps. Price rang the door and put on his signature Mormon smile. Cunningham stood next to him, letting his companion do all the work. He did listen to Price and adjust his tie.

            A middle aged woman opened the door, “Yes?”

            “Hello, ma’am,” Price began, “We’re representing the Church of Latter Day Saints and we were wondering-“

            “You’re some of those Mormons, right?” she asked, completely cutting him off.

            “Yes, ma’am,” Price smiled, “I am Elder Price and this is my companion Elder Cunningham. We were wondering if you had the time to listen to-“

            “I’m sorry,” she interrupted again, “I’m already apart of the Jedi religion,” she smiled.

            “There’s a Jedi religion?!” Elder Cunningham burst with excitement, “ _Really_?”

            The woman nodded, “Oh yes. It became a thing a few years ago. So many people wrote it down on their census that they accepted it as an actual religion. I mean, anything’s a religion now,” she smiled, “like Cthuluism.”

            Price was getting a little annoyed with the two talking about other religions that weren’t the Mormon religion.

            “Where do I sign up for the Jedi religion? I wanna join!” Cunningham exclaimed happily.

            There was a clap of thunder from the sky, followed by pouring down rain. Price looked from Cunningham to the now soaked street they were just on. He stepped down to the bottom step from the porch and felt a hit on his shoulder. Elder Price looked down to seeing what hit him and found a penny sized hail ball.

            Hail began to fall with the pouring rain and he ducked back under the porch. He glared at Elder Cunningham, who was happily chatting away about the  _Star Wars_  religion with the woman. Elder Price looked back out to the strange weather, then to his companion. The elder put two and two together and gave Cunningham a look.

            “Look what you done!” Price exclaimed and pointed to the sudden weather change.

            Cunningham looked out at the street, “It was sunny a second ago!” he exclaimed.

            “See what you did?” he asked and crossed his arms.

            The woman looked between the two missionaries and then to the street. She clasped her hands together, “Well, sorry for the sudden change of events boys. Have a lovely day,” she then smiled to the boys and backed into her home and closed the door.

            Price shook his head at Elder Cunningham and pocketed his Book before facing the weather. Cunningham, head down, soon followed his angry companion into the weather.

            The two walked in silence in the rain back to the LDSChurch. At least the hail had stopped when they were walking back to the church. The two entered the church, soaked head to toe. Price walked in first, followed by Cunningham. A few of the other Elders and Sisters stared in horror at the soaking wet Elders walked down the isle to the front of the church.

            “Elder Price and Elder Cunningham,” the Mission President boomed to them.

            “Sir,” Price nodded.

            “Sir,” Cunningham stood next to him, head still down.

            “Why are you two soaking wet?” he crossed his arms.

            “We got caught in the rain, sir,” Price answered.

            “How? It was perfectly clear here.”

            “I don’t know, sir. It just started raining,” Price lied, not throwing his companion under the bus.

            After a second the mission president looked at Elder Cunningham, “Elder Cunningham, you are free to go home.”

            Cunningham nodded and headed to a back pew, not really wanting to leave yet. The President turned to Elder Price, “As for you, Elder. I suggest going home and changing into dry clothes before school lets out and the children start coming in. That doesn’t leave you much time.”

            Elder Price nodded, “Yes, sir.”

            “Be back in twenty minutes, Elder Price.”

            Wordless, Price nodded. He turned and headed back to the doors where they had entered. Cunningham jumped up from the pew once Price passed him.

            “Kevin? Why’d you lie?” he asked grabbing onto his arm.

            He stopped and faced Elder Cunningham, “Do you think he’d believe us, Arnold? Besides, I mean, I think we’re friends…?” Cunningham nodded and Price continued, “Friends don’t throw friends under the bus.”

            “Elder Price!” the President called to him.

            “I’m going, Sir!”

            “Twenty minutes!” he reminded.

            Price kept walking as Arnold followed, “Don’t tell the others, please.”

            “I won’t,” he nodded, “Listen, I’ll catch up with you later. I got twenty minutes to get ready for after school session. See you tomorrow, Elder. Enjoy your  _Star Wars_ marathon. Just don’t get caught in the hail,” he smirked playfully to him.

            “Ha-ha, very funny, Kevin,” he rolled his eyes with a smile.

            “See ya, Arnold,” Kevin opened the door and bolted through the rain to his car.

            Arnold stood there by himself, smiling.  _He’s not such a bad guy after all… Self centered, but with a good heart… Now, time to go look into this religion…_ he thought to himself before rushing out into the rain.


End file.
